goodbyes and hellos

Once upon a time, someone asked me, "Did you study tasawwuf when you were in Egypt?" I remember impulsively replying, "No. Not formally. I mean, I think that just being there and observing things and letting things affect you so you reflect and appreciate life....I guess thats kind of like studying tasawwuf. Im sure that if you really wanted to, you can go and study with someone like you study fiqh." I thought to myself, wait did I just say that? Huh?

Less than a week ago, I came back from a 25 day "vacation" in Pakistan. Its been 6 and a half years since Ive been back there. Upon my return, I thought about that tiny dialogue I had about tasawwuf. I believe in that answer now more than ever before.

How do you teach someone what love is? How do you teach someone what taqwa (God-consciousness) is? How do you purify your heart, your mind, your soul? You just got to do it! You just got to experience it man! Its all there! Open mind open heart. Think and feel freely. Let things affect you so it helps you grow.

That would be the most ideal wouldnt it? The next best thing.....learning and reflecting from the experiences and reflections of others. So I figured I would share some simple relfections over time with you my dear friends, my family, my comrades, my dawgs. I am a searcher just like you.

Egypt and Pakistan were completely different experiences. I have no attachment to Egypt, but Pakistan is home to my blood relatives. My parents came from there. And I came from my parents.

Observation # 1: Goodbyes are hard. They really are. When we were leaving, I felt a knot tighten in my stomach as I stood there and watched my parents fight back tears as they part once again from those that raised them. Leave the place that was their comfort zone. Go back to their lives in this strange place called America. A place they will never completely understand.

I can only imagine what was going through their heads. "Will I ever see you again? Maybe, maybe not but I hope to God that I do. Please take care until then. Please?"

What a sacrifice. Economic opportunity, a better life. A decision that was made with us, their future children, in mind. Dont know if I could ever do that. I think a lot of us are here in the States for that reason....or am I alone on this?

Everything happens for a reason. Now you're here. What have you been doing about it? What are you going to do about it? What are we going to do about it? Lets do something about it. I really want to do something about it.